Hey everyone, today I wanted to write about the twisted toxic love attraction between an empath & a narcissist. Since a lot of you liked yesterday’s posts I thought this might be relevant too!
Just few weeks ago I wrote a blog post titled “The Reason why Shitty Things Keep Happening to Us” and shared my own experience attracting those bastards! Check out the post to understand how our thoughts & beliefs & the way we view ourselves can literally manifest into reality! click here to read it 🙂
I don’t take anything I’ve said in that post back. I still believe that we attract who we are – to a degree, but then this also got my attention & believe to also be true. It’s VERY interesting and I wanted to share it with you, because as much as our darkness that gets us in trouble, sometimes it is also our light that shines too bright attracting darkness (in this post we will focus on narcissist) into our lives!
Firstly, let’s define both terms, what is an empath & a narcissist.
What does it mean to be an empath?
An empath is someone with strong ability to feel the emotions, energy & thoughts of others. Sometimes the feeling is too intense and the person (empath) ends up withdrawing from others to protect themselves. A lot of empath will hate this and look at it as a curse, as it’s really overwhelming and draining.
Yesterday I shared 30 Signs you might be an empath, check it out here 🙂
What does it mean to be a narcissist?
A narcissist on the other hand is someone who is beyond damaged, due to various traumas, core wounds and conditioning from childhood, to the extent that they start to hide behind a false mask they created for themselves and the world to see. This mask is their ideal self, often seen as highly charming, attractive & caring person. But the reality is far from it, they are uncaring, self-centered & cruel. Just check out the list below describing some of their twisted sick traits!
Why are the two attracted to each other?
Well firstly the 2 are the opposite of each other – heard of the term opposite attract? Definitely so in this case…
Secondly, look at what each needs! A narcissist is often looking for someone who will admire them, someone who is caring, loving, someone who will listen to them & help them.
An empath, on the other hand isn’t necessarily looking for a self-centered person who is uncaring. Remember that’s not what you first see when you meet a narcissist, you meet their idealized self which what traps the empath in the first place.
The only difference is that when that mask falls off usually one of the following happens: the empath doesn’t have the confidence and boundaries to draw the line there and end the relationship (usually happens to young empaths) or the emapth stays because of their loving & caring nature of wanting to help and heal the other person.
Yes!!!! we empath LOVE LOVE LOVE to help and heal others, we can FEEL the other person’s pain and misery and see exactly where they are going wrong so we want to desperately help them but what we forget to realize that healing only comes from oneself. No one, & I mean NO ONE can help you but you own self.
Plus a narcissist isn’t really looking to be fixed or helped, they are looking for someone who they can just feed off from their positive emotions and love. Remember narcissists are beyond repair, they are literally dark beings in a human form! They eat your emotions, physical health, & sanity.
Very manipulating & SMART! I’ll give them that those bastards are GENIUSES!
Also a narcissist perfect victim is an empath, they know they can release all their baggage on the empath, because unfortunately an empath who don’t understand themselves usually have no boundaries and thus we become the narcissist’s sponge, sucking in all that negativity which does nothing but deplete us and leave us nothing.
Typical types of narcissist, empath attract:
- The Victim
- The superhero
- The perfect lover *** rolling my eyes right now!
- The Elitist (the wealthy successful spoiled demon)
- The schemer
*** You can read more about these online – as i won’t discuss them here.
What can you do if you are an empath trapped in such relationship?
It’s simple, realize that this is not your problem to fix and even if you think it is (say this is a family member, child, parent, etc.) you TRULY CAN NOT DO ANYTHING TO FIX OR HELP THEM.
**** No one can heal you but yourself.
Plus a narcissist is in deep black hole DENIAL, they don’t think there is anything wrong with them. Their twisted wound has left them nothing but a rejection of who they truly are. So forget the idea of trying to fix them, they think they are perfect!
& if you think you are in love with this person – I am sorry to be brutally honest but this is not love.
If you think love is painful. I am sorry to break this to you, but you have core beliefs and conditioning you need to work on. Yes love can be hard, difficult & definitely requires work work work but it does NOT cause PAIN. That’s an choice you made.
I also think you need to go and work on your relationship with yourself. I suspect, part of you doesn’t love yourself enough to walk away from this toxic twisted relationship that is leaving you nothing but ache.
Read my post here, where I talked about my own experience Click here.
So walk away and work on yourself and trust me when you truly learn to love yourself, you will never again be a victim of those vampires and you will be able to spot one from a mile!
Anyways this is what I have to say about this topic, I hope this was insightful and maybe if you haven’t thought about it before it has shed some light to your relationships.
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Lots of love,